Watching an old friend become a powerful advocate for men’s mental health revealed how much more needs to be done on the issue, writes Dan Crawford
I first met Lee Adams when we travelled across the country as wide-eyed teenagers and watched in astonishment as our beloved Fulham reached the Premier League playing the most mesmerising football we had ever seen. He became a close friend when, a couple of years later, he was one of the volunteers who played a crucial role in the ‘Back to the Cottage’ campaign that ensured Fulham made a permanent return to their historic home, but I did not truly appreciate just how special Lee was until he became a powerful advocate for men’s mental health awareness, after deciding to speak out about his own experiences a few years ago.
Lee is an outgoing, intelligent and friendly guy – the life and soul of the party – and it was not until he started championing the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), a charity founded to eradicate the shockingly high rates of suicide and self-harm amongst men under the age of 45, that I had any inkling that he had suffered from mental health episodes of his own. I remember receiving a text from Lee saying that he would be on the telly and that I should tune in. When I saw him in a Fulham shirt I was expecting him to be opining about how it was madness to try and fit Bryan Ruiz, Adel Tarabt and Dimitar Berbatov in the same side, but he talked very frankly about the issues he had faced in his own life. That night we had a long conversation about how the problems we had both experienced were remarkably similar – and how they all seemed smaller once we had shared them.
Lee realised faster than most that the key to raising awareness about how deeply these issues can affect someone close to you was by helping men talk to one another. Football was the perfect setting in which to boost awareness as most of us have an opinion on the beautiful game. Most people would have been happy with a small group discussion in their local pub, but Lee wanted to get as many men involved as possible. He organised a brilliant boat trip to an away game at Charlton Athletic supported by several former Fulham players, and, despite hardly having ridden a bike since his school days, hit upon the idea of cycling to away matches to raise vital funds for CALM’s telephone hotline that helps connect worried men with the help they need.
It would have been easy to cycle to Queen’s Park Rangers or Brentford, but Lee picked Preston North End and Wigan Athletic. I still remember the look of astonishment on Fulham midfielder Tom Cairney’s face as he tried to comprehend the fact that Lee had cycled all the way from London to Wigan’s DW Stadium before an away game last season. When Lee approached me to ask for the support of the Fulham Supporters’ Trust in publicising his latest venture – a 40-mile overnight walk from Craven Cottage to the Madjeski Stadium for Fulham’s first away league fixture of the new season at Reading – I was only too happy to help.
By sheer force of personality, Lee had persuaded 10 Fulham fans of all ages and backgrounds to join him on this through-the-night adventure, which had a dual purpose. First, we wanted to raise funds for CALM to carry on their important work but creating a forum for discussing mental health without any of the stigma that can still be attached to those words was just as important. After a few press releases, we were blown away by the volume of donations and interest. Fulham chief executive Alistair Mackintosh personally paid for the match tickets of the walkers and head coach Slavisa Jokanovic organised for signed first-team shirts to be made available for auction.
The walkers all went into training for the big day and, after setting off from Craven Cottage, were welcomed at one of the last traditional Fulham pubs, The Chancellors in Hammersmith, where a donations box was handed over and warm wishes were exchanged. I was even roped in to walk a few miles to the next stop on this incredible journey. By the time, the team reached the Madjeski on Saturday afternoon they had raised more than £7,000 for CALM – and sparked countless conversations across social media and in person about the need to improve support for those affected by mental health concerns.
Like the true activist he is, Lee’s already planning his next adventure – a cycle-ride around all of London’s football grounds – but his words on Saturday’s BBC Radio Five Live 606 show about mental health ‘having no colours’ and a need to challenge the culture that still surrounds it in the twenty first century struck a chord with everybody. I am proud of my friend, his fellow walkers and look forward to fully supporting CALM’s ongoing work.
–––––––––
Dan Crawford is a Labour councillor in the London Borough of Ealing, and a board member of the Fulham Supporters’ Trust. He tweets at @dancrawford85
You can find out more about the Campaign Against Living Miserably here
Photo: FanTV